Like a Potluck

A decade ago, my wife Debbi and I led a mission trip to Bolivia with a team of youth and adults. We were visiting a child sponsorship ministry where many of us had sponsored children. We were excited to meet our “kids” and participate in ministries with the church that hosted the center. We arrived full of our “Western” mindset—you know the one—the “we know what you need more than you know what you need” vibe that often unwittingly accompanies north American mission teams.

As we rolled in with our toys, candy, and canned Vacation Bible School I felt a sense of pride at what our team had accomplished in preparation for the trip. The week following our arrival was fun for our team. We found the families connected to the center to be lovely. The kids were just like any other kids. They had a good time teasing our team members and they enjoyed our VBS games, stories, and crafts.  

But the pastor was quiet. Maybe too quiet. I took note of that.

The last night of the trip we were invited to a potluck hosted by the church.  When we entered the courtyard in front of the church, we were greeted by lots (and lots) of people. In addition there were decorations, music, presentations by a youth dance troupe, and table after table of homemade food for our team.

I was struck by two things when I entered the courtyard 1) The joy of the families who were hosting us. 2) The lavish gift of food that I knew they probably could not afford to give away.

The gift of food felt much too valuable to me—like Jesus’ story of the widow who gave her last penny.

I ate sparingly that night, hoping they would take the leftovers home.

I now believe that was wrong.

If I had it to do over again, I would have tried every dish and I would have endeavored to find who had cooked and brought it just to tell them how much I loved it.

It wasn’t until the potluck that I realized that much of what we had done that week was a one-sided,

top-down, hand-out approach.

It wasn’t until the potluck that I sensed deep dignity in the folks serving us.

It wasn’t until the potluck that I realized perhaps why the pastor had been so quiet all week.

I’ll be honest, I was personally embarrassed by the realization that we had not asked those we had been in ministry to to be in ministry with us.

It was a tough realization.

So, what would I do differently if I had another chance?

I would have approached the trip as a learner.

I would have sought a chance to interview the pastor and maybe some of the families prior to the trip. I would have asked about their hopes, and dreams for their families, their community, and their church. I would have asked how we could support the ministry they were already doing. Once onsite, I would have asked the pastor if he would mind ministering to our team with a devotion or a sermon. Instead of our just our students sharing their faith, I would have asked their students to pair up with ours and talk about the struggles of being a Christian in their culture.

In short, I would have pursued mutuality and reciprocity.  

Though this memory brings more than a few cringeworthy moments for me, I know I am not the first and certainly not the last to make this mistake. But I want to do better. And I know those of us who serve low income communities need to do better.

So, what does this memory have to do with the ministries of Cornerstone? For me, it informs everything we do.

When we serve among low income populations the way we give can diminish dignity. Because we believe dignity is the doorway to long-term transformation, we seek to create environments where all are invited to contribute.

In my experience I know that I am happiest when I am engaged in relationships grounded in mutuality and reciprocity. When I am given an opportunity to contribute to a community that cares for me, I experience a deep sense of what theologians call being, “fully human.”

In light of this, each of our initiatives at Cornerstone are structured with mutuality, reciprocity, and dignity in mind. And we train our volunteers to that end as well.

Ultimately, it is our desire to value one-another as God’s “image bearers” and for our ministries to seek and promote opportunities where all can contribute and where all can experience the richness of community—

Just like a potluck.